I am writing a book, and this is part of the first chapter. how do you like it?

Oh my Gosh! I'm so excited I found an author thats my age! Lol that is fantastic. You really led me to beleive that her father died. It really flowed. If I had to fix anything I would erase the last sentence in the first paragraph, only because lots of books end their intro like that. I can tell your book will be very suspensfull and mysterious. Great job!